


By Action Rather Than Words

by allonsy_gabriel



Series: History Obliterates (the Hamilton Reincarnation AU No One Wanted) [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Can't Take Care of Himself, Alexander Hamilton Being an Asshole, Alexander is not okay, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Hurricane Alexander, John Might've Fucked Up, John is Not Okay, M/M, Relationship Issues, The Reynolds Pamphlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 00:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11092785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsy_gabriel/pseuds/allonsy_gabriel
Summary: The evening had started out normally enough. Alexander was more snappish than usual, but it hadn’t been overly drastic, so when things finally boiled over, it came as quite a surprise.Or, Trouble in Paradise ft. Alexander's Guilt Complex





	By Action Rather Than Words

**Author's Note:**

> So this sort of... happened. I had a rough night and this was the result. I promise the Schuyler Sisters are coming soon. I just needed to write this.
> 
> As usual, thanks to Sanna_Black_Slytherin for going over this. Lord knows what I would do with her.

Alex was tucked into the corner booth at Cool Beans, his laptop on the table and his Double XL black coffee in hand. He didn't know how long he'd been working. He knew he'd come in right after Aaron started his shift, and that had ended at least hours ago.

 

Alexander didn't care. He needed to do this. He needed to work. He needed to write.

 

On the screen of his phone, another notification popped up. This one was a text from Laf. Alex ignored it.

 

He'd ignored every single one of them since last night.

 

The evening had started out normally enough. Alexander was more snappish than usual, but it hadn’t been overly drastic, so when things finally boiled over, it came as quite a surprise.

 

“You should come home with me this Thanksgiving,” Jon had said as they sat on Alexander’s shitty couch. 

 

Alex had snorted and rolled his eyes.

 

“What was that?” Jon had asked, giving him a sideways glance.

 

“You can't be serious,” Alexander had replied, the look on his face that said that he truly believed that.

 

Jon narrowed his eyes. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?” he had asked.

 

“Because that's insane,” Alex had responded, rolling his eyes again.

 

Jon immediately pulled away. “Why do you say that?”

 

“Maybe because I have better things to do with my week off than rubbing elbows with a bunch of strangers?” Alexander had said.

 

That, apparently, had been the wrong answer.

 

“These strangers happen to be my family!”

 

The whole conversation had deteriorated from there, eventually dissolving into a full-blown shouting fest about how Alex cared about no one but himself.

 

“It's always all about you! You  _ never _ consider anyone's feelings but your own!” Jon had yelled.

 

“That's bullshit and you know it!  All my life, it's  _ never  _ been about me! It's always been about making other people proud, it's always been making other people happy!” Alexander shouted.

 

“Oh yeah? You call the Reynolds Pamphlet  _ making other people happy _ ? ‘Cause I'm pretty sure Elizabeth would disagree!” Jon had shot back.

 

At that, Alex had crumpled, his wide eyes full of pain. That had been the Unspoken Topic. It wasn't talked about.  No one mentioned James or Maria Reynolds around Alexander, just as no one mentioned Sally Hemmings around Parker.

 

And Jon had just smacked him in the face with it.

 

“Alex-- Alex, babe, I'm sorry. I didn't-- I didn't mean it!” Jon had stuttered out, but it was of no use. Alexander had grabbed his laptop, charger, and phone, and was out the door a moment later.

 

He didn't even know where he was going. They had been in his dorm, after all.

 

He ended up at Parker’s house. He knew Jon would look at Aaron’s first, and then Laf’s and Herc’s, but, as he and Parker were still a bit uneasy,  it would be a long time before it occurred to anyone to check Parker’s house.

 

“What the hell are you doing here, Alexander?” Parker had asked when he opened the door.

 

“I need a place to crash. It’s just for tonight, don’t worry. I don’t plan on living with you.”

 

“And you came to me,  _ why _ ?”

 

“No one expects me to be here,” Alexander said simply.

 

“My god,” Parker had said, a horrified expression on his face that looked strangely out of place on Parker’s young features. “The cops are after you, aren't they?”

 

“What? No! Just… it's a long story. Can I come in?” Alex had asked.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Thanks,” Alex had replied as he was ushered in.

 

“Annabelle, Alice, and Charlotte are all upstairs in their rooms. Mom is still at work, and Jemmy is over, too,” Parker had explained, “I guess you can have the couch.”

 

“Annabelle, Alice, and Charlotte?” Alexander had asked.

 

“My sisters. Don't worry, they should be going to bed soon.”

 

Alex nodded. “Thanks, Parker,” he said.

 

He had stayed at Parker’s house until Cool Beans opened the next morning.

 

And so here he was, eleven coffees deep after getting a stellar 30 minutes of sleep on a lumpy couch. He had roughly 48 texts from Laf alone. Alex had bribed Aaron into not telling the others where he was with the promise of shutting up completely the next four times Aaron asked him to. The reincarnation of Alexander Hamilton has had a fucking slumber party with the reincarnations of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.

 

Alex was a mess.

 

Looking back, he understood that, yeah, he was being a dick. It was Jon’s family after all, and it wasn't an outlandish request. In fact, it was kind of a compliment.

 

Yeah, Alexander was an asshole. But bringing up the Reynolds Pamphlet? That was low. The only person who did that was Aaron, and even then it was a sort of cautionary tale, a way to keep Alex from going down the fuck-up line again. It had never been an insult, not coming from Aaron; Aaron had never used it for the sole purpose of bringing him down.

 

But  _ Jon _ had done that. His Jon. The feeling of betrayal sat heavily on Alexander's shoulders.

 

Alex’s inner train of self-pity was cut off by someone closing his laptop. 

 

“What the fuck?” Alexander asked. There, on the other side of the booth, was Lafayette and, strangely enough, Theodosia.

 

“What the hell, Alexander?” Lafayette asked, their accent thicker in their anger.

 

“What the fuck do you mean, what the hell?” Alex asked, glaring at his friends.

 

“Sixty-seven calls. Sixty. Seven. Calls. We called you sixty-seven times, and never once did you pick up!” Laf said.

 

“We thought you… we thought something was seriously wrong, Alex!” Doddie said, “And then Aaron started acting weird when he got back from work, and then James called and asked if you were doing better!  _ James _ , of all people!”

 

“Well I'm doing fine, thanks. You guys can go now,” Alex said, reopening his laptop.

 

Doddie slammed it shut.

 

“Do you know how fucked up Jon is right now?” Lafayette asked, their voice deadly low, “Hercules is with him right now, trying to keep him from doing anything incredibly stupid. He is  _ distraught _ , Alexander.”

 

Part of Alex--a sick, twisted part of Alex that he despised--was disgustingly satisfied with that news.

 

“He won't tell us what happened, but it has to be _something_. He's been either crying or weirdly quiet all morning,” Doddie said. 

 

“What on Earth did you do him, Alex?” Laf asked.

 

Alexander couldn't stop the bitter laugh that built up in his throat. “What did I do?” he asked, “What did  _ I  _ do? I said I didn't want to go to his family's Thanksgiving! I said I'd rather spend the holidays here!  _ He's  _ the one who said all I do is think about myself.  _ He's  _ the one who said I'm selfish and conceited!  _ He's  _ the one who brought up the motherfucking Reynolds Pamphlet!”

 

Alex was almost yelling by that point, his face red and shoulders shaking. On the last sentence, his voice cracked as his shouts broke down into sobs, tears he'd been holding back all morning dripping down his face.

 

“Mon Dieu,” Laf muttered. They ran a hand through their short curls and over their face. “I am going to go call Hercules. Doddie, mon amie, take care of Alex for a moment, oui?”

 

They slipped out of the booth, and Theodosia moved over to the other side and wrapped her arms around Alexander’s shoulders. “Shhhhh,” she whispered, “It's okay. It's fine. It's over. That's all over.”

 

“I--he--I can't--I’m sorry,” Alexander said through shaky breaths.

 

“It's okay, Alexander. There's no reason to be sorry. That's all over now,” Theodosia whispered.

 

“With Betsey, I couldn't--and now, with Jon, and--”

 

“Alex, look at me,” Doddie said, smoothing Alexander's hair from his face when he did, “If Elizabeth was here, she wouldn't blame you for all of that. She wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself for it, either.”

 

“But--”

 

“No. Listen. I'm going to ask you the same thing I ask Aaron. Would you do it now? Right now?”

 

“Of course not!” Alex insisted.

 

“There. Exactly. You're a better man now, Alexander Hayley. Alexander Hamilton wasn't a bad man, he just did a bad thing. And you wouldn't do that thing. You're not bad. You never were,” Theodosia explained.

 

At that moment Laf appeared back at the booth. “He's on his way,” they said quietly, “We’re taking you to Jon’s dorm. You two need to talk.”

 

“No! I can't--” 

 

“Connerie! You must! You love Jon, non?” Lafayette asked, crossing their arms over their chest.

 

Alexander nodded.

 

“Then you must work this out, together. This is not the end of the world, you must not let it become such,” Laf insisted.

 

Alexander swallowed and nodded slowly. A few minutes later, Hercules pulled up in Laf’s car. “C’mon, mon petit leon, let's go home,” Laf said.

 

Theo carried Alexander's things to the car and paid for his last cup of coffee.

OoOoO

Jon didn't look up when Alex entered the room. He didn't even blink. He just sat there on the couch, silent and still as a rock.

 

“Jon?” Alexander finally said after a moment of just standing in the doorway. Jon’s breath hitched.

 

Alex took a second to make sure he had regained his composure before sitting on the other end of the sofa.

 

“I'm sorry,” he said.

 

That, apparently, hadn't been what Jon was expecting because he turned and looked at Alex. Alexander continued.

 

“I'm sorry that I don't take your feelings into account more often. I'm sorry that I make you feel like I don't care about you. I'm sorry I was so rude about Thanksgiving. I'm sorry I ran out on you like that,” he said, tentatively placing his hand on Jon's knee.

 

Jon took a deep breath. “It's okay,” he said quietly. He ducked his head so that his bangs fell into his face. “I'm sorry I brought up… that.”

 

“It's alright,” Alex said, scooting a bit closer to Jon. They were shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip.

 

“I never meant to hurt you,” Jon said.

 

“I know.”

 

Alex moved his hand from Jon's knee and laced their fingers together before kissing the back of Jon's hand.

 

"I wish, my Dear Jon, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you," he said quietly, staring into Jon’s eyes as he repeated the words he'd written so long ago; words that rang true in his heart to this very day.

 

“I know, Alexander, I know,” Jon said before closing the gap between them. When they pulled apart, he rested his forehead against Alexander's and whispered, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this! It's a bit angstier than we usually get from Alex and Jon, but I felt it needed to be written. Please tell me what you thought!


End file.
